What She'd Do For You
by bobalinafeelsmanly
Summary: They finally have Alison back after all this time. She tells them the truth about the night she disappeared, but Spencer can't help but feel like she's lying. That message in red ink blaring in her mind, "You know me, Spencer. You killed me." (tw: graphic violence, check author's notes)


Author's notes: I'm not exactly sure how to label this or give warnings. I don't know how to gauge how "graphic" it really is, though it's enough that it may bother some. This story depicts a death that you may not be expecting at first, though it's easy enough to begin guessing about half way through. Not like a major character death or anything, the death takes place in the past. I'd rather not spoil it just yet.

Insert typical disclaimer here, because this is obviously nothing more than fanfiction.

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><p>Spencer sat perched on a couch next to Alison who had been sleeping in the chair for quite some time now. She was absently looking at her friends sleeping together on another couch across from her. Hanna had complained that she didn't want to sleep alone as she was too scared to. Spencer really didn't want to share a couch, so she offered the blonde her seat at the other end of the one Emily was on. Sweet Emily had quickly agreed of course, she was more than happy to try to easy her friend's troubled mind.<p>

After lightly talking a little while longer, the two had eventually fallen asleep and Spencer was alone with her thoughts. She was hunched forward, her arms across her legs and her fingers lightly threaded together. The brunette gently furrowed her brow as she turned to study the girl that was supposed to have been dead not that long ago. It was so strange to look over and see Alison sleeping there right next to her, as if the last two years had never happened. If she wanted, Spencer could reach out and touch her and it left her with a mix of feelings she didn't all understand.

Sure, she had seen her about a month ago after all those strange things that happened in Ravenswood, but this was different. It was more real in a way. They had spent several hours with Alison who told them lots of things about the night she had disappeared. The night someone tried to kill her and she ran away.

Spencer clenched her jaw, staring more intently at the girl who had once been something like a sister to her. Sharing a brother did make them like sisters according to Alison. Spencer wasn't sure anymore. She didn't know how she felt and it frustrated her.

Hanna had summed up a good bit of it earlier when she told Ali, _"I wanna hug you and slap you at the same time."_

The resident brainiac looked down at her hands, noting how tightly her fingers were now intertwined. She let out an irritated sigh and closed her eyes, reaching up to rub her face. Leaning back against the couch she was seated on, she limply dropped her arms into her lap and turned to look at Alison once more. For the most part, the blonde looked about the same. She had aged slightly in her absence, though her heartshaped face was just as attractive as it always had been. Perhaps even more so as she looked peaceful sleeping there. Spencer couldn't remember the last time Ali looked so at ease. Sleeping up right in a chair no less.

She guessed it was because Alison was there with the other girls again and it was soothing to her. Well, Aria was at the hospital for Ezra, but the rest of them were all there with her. It had been such a long time since they all piled up for a sleepover. This wasn't exactly a sleepover really, but it was in a strange, almost twisted sense. Hiding out in a theater, making a dinner out of stolen snacks, waiting to hear from Aria about Ezra's condition, hoping "A" doesn't find them, trying to get some sleep while they can...

Sleep. Spencer was having trouble with that. There was something nagging at her that made her uncomfortable to think about. Alison had been the person in the bell tower with Ian and herself. Alison in a black hoodie marched right over to Ian and flipped him, sending him head over heels down to his near death. He had been trying to kill Spencer and make it look like a suicide, pinning Alison's murder on her.

But he failed because Ali stepped in and sent him tumbling down first. The whole ordeal had terrified Spencer, and she could never figure out why "A" would have wanted to save her life like that. She found out earlier that night that it was Alison and it made a lot more sense then. Yet it still scared her to think about. Ali didn't hesitate. She was perfectly fine with trying to kill Ian to protect her argumentative friend.

Ali had been protecting her.

Picking absently at her pants leg, the brunette stared down at her lap. Alison had told her about their argument the night she disappeared. She had assured Spencer that she hadn't hurt her or that other girl and went back to the barn to sleep. But it continued to bother her. If that was true, why was she wandering around outside the barn when the other girls woke up? What all happened that Spencer couldn't remember?

Releasing a shaky breath, the girl recalled something from years ago that she wished she could forget. Yet it was all she could think of now.

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><p><em>It was nearing the end of seventh grade. Alison DiLaurentis was a pretty popular kid in school, yet her best friend was her nerdy neighbor - Spencer Hastings. They hadn't even known each other a full year and they often butted heads, but they were as thick as thieves. Alison loved to push Spencer's buttons, but nobody else better try. The blonde would tear them apart in a matter of seconds. Some of the snobbier kids would ask why she hung out with such a loser nerd to which Alison would mock them and say how pathetic and blatantly obvious their jealousy was. It was clear that they were the losers if they had to ask such a thing.<em>

_See, Alison just had a way with words. She could twist any situation in her favor. She could make you believe the most ridiculous things and have you agree to something you know is a horrible idea._

_It was one of those moments._

_Spencer's birthday had just recently passed and she turned thirteen. Her birthday was about two months ahead of Alison's, so the blonde decided she would coax her friend into doing more "adult" things now that she was officially a teenager. She even worked in that the taller girl should feel honored that she could do things before herself since she was older. The brainiac tried to argue that there was less than two months between them, so it didn't really count. Ali wasn't having it. Spencer was a teenager now. She needed to try some more grown up things._

_Neither of their parents were home, as per usual. Melissa was in town visiting home for the weekend and left her car in the driveway, riding with her father to the country club. Ali got that twinkle in her eyes that Spencer both admired and dreaded. The brunette would never admit it to anyone, but one of the main things that drew her to Alison was the fact that she was extremely intelligent and quick witted. She was simply more subtle with it, except for when it was just the two of them. Ali was the only person who could truly challenge Spencer and she craved that opposition._

_At times, it seemed like Alison craved it more. She was always testing her friend, pushing harder, demanding more. It's like she needed to know their limits and was always trying to take it a little further. Just a little more, and a little more. How far would Spencer go with her? How far could she push Spencer away and still have her as a friend? How far into mischief together would Spencer allow? It was a game she never tired of and it was another thing Spencer would never admit to enjoying. She was sure Ali knew it though, or else she wouldn't seem so amused by the whole thing._

_Skipping down the Hastings' front steps, the blonde went straight for Melissa's car. She turned with a bit of flare, smiling daringly at Spencer who remained on her front porch. Next to the driver's side door, Alison motioned for the taller girl to come join her._

_Spencer stood firm and crossed her arms over her chest, her tone as if reprimanding a small child, "Ali, no."_

_Smile growing, the girl in question reaches for the door, her eyes never leaving Spencer's. She grasps the handle and lifts, practically buzzing with energy at the little click it makes, meaning it's unlocked. At this point, she's smiling like a maniac and her eyes are lit up with excitement as she says, "Ali, yes."_

_Practically diving into the car, the girl begins searching for keys. Her brunette friend draws her fists to her sides and marches down the stairs towards the car. She begins full on fussing now with, "Alison! I said 'no'! If my sister finds out, she'll kill us! Then she'll tell my parents and they'll bring me back to life just so they can kill me! Not to mention the fact that neither one of us even knows how to drive!"_

_Squealing in delight, the blonde is laying across the seats and pulling out a set of keys from the glove box. She turns and dangles them in the air, grinning at Spencer standing outside the open door. Sitting up right, she pushes her face close towards her friend and the other girl could really see how brightly those blue eyes were shinning now._

_Alison's voice is light and full of humor, "It's not that hard, Spence. We've seen it been done a million times. Not to mention that you're able to get your license in three years now. It's really not all that far away. You should start practicing now so you totally rock your exam."_

_There was a slight twitch to Spencer's eyes. She knew what Ali was doing. She was goading her. She knew how obsessive the Hastings were when it came to things that could be used to gauge one's intelligence, skills and competence. It shouldn't affect the brunette the way it did, but she couldn't help it. The word 'exam' alone stirred something in her that caused her to feel the need to prove herself. To prove her worth._

_Leaning her side against the seat, the other girl sighed lightly and pondered aloud, "I wonder how Melissa scored on her driving test."_

_Gritting her teeth, the brainiac snatched the keys from her friend and nearly growled out, "Dammit, Alison! Just move over already!"_

_Giggling over her victory, the blonde slid back into the passenger's seat and spun around to place her feet in the floor. Spencer climbed into the driver's seat angrily, practically barking, "And shut up!"_

_"Now, now, Spence. If you're gonna drive, you need to calm down. Deep breaths. I don't want to get into an accident," the other girl lightly chided, her tone showing more amusement than anything._

_The brunette turned to glare at her, "This was your idea, genius. If we get into an accident, it's your fault."_

_Turning to look at her friend, Alison's expression became quite serious as she places a hand on Spencer's thigh. She stared into her eyes, as if looking for something there. Her expression relaxes after a moment, leaving Spencer bewildered and furrowing her brow, all anger forgotten. The blonde's tone is much softer and firmer than expected as she says, "I'm serious, Spence. I won't let you start this car if your head's not on straight. If you don't really want to do this, then we're not doing it. I'm not gonna risk our lives over something stupid," she pauses and her expression turns playful again as she says, "no matter how fun it could be."_

_Sighing and leaning her head back against the seat, closing her eyes, Spencer groans, "I hate when you do stuff like that... Fine, fine. I want to do it. I'm good. Just give me a minute to get my bearings." She glances over at her friend and smiles crookedly when she sees her face, adding with her own playfulness, "And don't look so damn pleased!"_

_Alison's grin widens regardless as she leans back into her own seat, watching Spencer study the vehicle, figuring out where everything is and adjusting the mirrors. She couldn't help herself and quips, "You know, Melissa is gonna notice someone messed with her mirrors."_

_Never taking her eyes off her studying, the brainiac absently replies, "No, she won't. I memorized their original position. I'll just put them back how they were when we're done."_

_Slightly snorting with a contained laugh, the great humor was evident in the blonde's voice as she mutters, "Of course you did."_

_After a moment, she slips the key into the ignition and the car roars to life. Releasing a shaky breath, she looks over and grins at her companion. Her own excitement was taking hold and she nearly laughs out, "Buckle up!"_

_Muttering in amusement once again, Ali says, "You're such a nerd," as she secures her seatbelt in place._

_Easing out of the driveway, the blonde perks up and states, "We probably should stay on our street. We'd be less likely to be seen that way."_

_"Obviously," their driver drones as if it's something that doesn't even need to be said. She continues at an even, somewhat slow speed down the road, leaning forward in her seat over the steering wheel._

_Biting back her laughter, Alison continues to watch her drive out of the corner of her eye. Finally, she can take it no longer and chuckles saying, "Relax, Spence. You drive like an old lady."_

_"Cut me some slack! It's my first time," the other girl says with furrowed brows and a hint of her own amusement._

_They continue to ride up and down the street for nearly half an hour, Spencer becoming more and more comfortable as time went by. Sighing, Alison sounds a bit dejected as she says, "We should probably get back now. I don't want to push our luck and we get caught."_

_Humming in agreement, the brunette replies a little distractedly, "Yeah, you're right."_

_Spencer pulls up in the end of a neighbor's driveway and uses it to turn around in to head back. Riding easily down the road with the radio playing faintly, Ali turns to grin at her friend, "You're pretty damn good at this. I mean, you still kinda drive like a grandma, but it's like a cool grandma, I guess."_

_Chuckling and raising an eyebrow while glancing over at the blonde, she questions, "A cool grandma?"_

_"Yeah! Not like my grandma or your grandma. Like Hanna Marin's grandma," the other girl says happily._

_Furrowing her brow slightly in thought, the brunette asks, "Isn't that the girl you call 'Hefty Hanna'?"_

_Waving her hand distractedly, Ali rambles on, "Yeah, yeah, yeah. But have you met her grandma? That woman is a riot!"_

_Before Spencer could say anything else, she lurched forward and slammed on the breaks in alarm. The Stevenson's cat, that _stupid_ cat that wandered up and down the neighborhood, that Alison's mother complained about constantly, that Spencer's parents complained about on a few occasions, that fluffy black and white spotted cat had wandered out onto the road. Spencer squeezed her eyes shut. It was too late. The girls felt the sicking thump as the front tire went over the cat, then the back._

_Letting out a choked sob, the brunette refused to open her eyes and gripped the steering wheel tightly as they sat still in the middle of the road. She felt hesitant fingers brush her shoulder and the car suddenly jerked forward slightly when Spencer's footing wavered on the break. Alison gripped her shoulder more firmly and gently whispered, "Put it in park, Spence."_

_Nodding repeatedly, she did as she was told and a few stray tears rolled down her cheeks. She felt her friend's hand shift to rub her back lightly for a moment, then it disappeared and she heard the passenger side door open. She whipped her head over to see the blonde exiting the vehicle and walking towards the back of it. Taking a deep breath and wiping her face, Spencer reached a shaky hand towards the door handle and moved to stand just barely out of the car. She couldn't really see anything and wasn't quite ready to yet, so she called out somewhat weakly, "What's it look like back there?"_

_"Like a fluffy jelly filled doughnut exploded," was the immediate and blunt reply._

_"Alison!" was the only thing the brunette was capable of screeching in disapproval._

_"What?! You asked!" shouted the other girl, sounding offended._

_Sighing and roughly rubbing her face in preparation, Spencer began walking to see the damage for herself. When she caught sight of what was left of the Stevenson's cat, she quickly looked away and mumbled, "You weren't kidding..."_

_Shrugging, the blonde muttered back, "I told you."_

_Spencer glanced over at it again and looked away just as quickly, raising her arms and holding them against herself protectively. She heard Alison release a small sigh and try to sound reassuring with, "It's gonna be alright, Spence."_

_Glaring over at her friend, the brunette practically shouted angrily, "No, it's not! It's dead!"_

_"Not the damn cat!" Alison shot back just as fiercely. Her tone lost it's edge, yet it still held a certain harshness to it as she continued with, "The situation. The cat's dead and it's not just gonna spring back to life. But it's not the end of the world."_

_Swallowing thickly and holding herself more tightly, Spencer leans forward and nearly whispers in worry, "It will be when my parents find out."_

_"Then they won't find out," the shorter girl says quickly and firmly, her tone showing her certainty like a promise. She moves closer to better examine the cat's remains which causes Spencer to lean back away, somewhat startled._

_Looking mildly disturbed, she fires out, "What are you doing? Get away from it!"_

_Smirking up at the other girl, the blonde sounds a bit mocking as she says, "It's not gonna bite, Spence. It's intestines are splayed out across the road."_

_Jerking her head away and cringing, the brunette replies irritatedly, "Could you like, not be so morbid?"_

_She's met with silence as Alison stares intently at what was left of the cat, thinking. She looks up at Spencer again and says in a serious, even tone, "Go get a shovel."_

_The taller girls snaps her head back to look at her friend, both flustered and frustrated she blurts out, "What? Why?"_

_Standing and brushing her hands down the front of her jeans, Ali gives her a look that the other girl hated. It's the look she gives when she thinks Spencer's being stupid. She bluntly answers with, "To scrape it off the road, obviously. We have to get rid of the body before anyone sees it."_

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><p>And they did. Alison had her drive home and fix the car so no one knew they messed with it, then come running back with a shovel to where Ali stayed with the cat's remains. It freaked Spencer out too much, so the blonde was the one to pick the body up with the shovel and carry it to where they buried it in the DiLaurentis' back yard. It was one of their secrets, and one Alison never joked about. It's like she understood it was off-limits due to how much it bothered her friend. She never told a soul, not even writing it down as one of the many secrets she collected.<p>

Rubbing her arms uneasily, the brunette hunched forward slightly to study the girl sleeping next to her again. It was years ago, and it wasn't like Spencer killed a person, but Alison helped her cover it up. She helped her hide it. She even did the gross parts that Spencer didn't have the nerve to do. Whenever the Stevenson's cat was brought up, she lied so well she almost had Spencer believing it didn't happen.

When they asked Alison about that girl who really is dead, what Spencer really wanted to know as whether or not she herself had struck her. The blonde shook her head 'no'.

But sitting alone in the dark with her thoughts, Spencer can't help but mull it over in her head. It wasn't a verbal response. She shook her head. She didn't actually say yes or no. It would be so much easier to deal with if Alison had put it into words. But she didn't and all these swarming thoughts were beginning to make Spencer feel sick to her stomach.

Ali was there, willing to kill Ian if need be in that bell tower. She was willing to do that for Spencer. She was willing to help Spencer hide the fact that she killed the Stevenson's cat.

As much as the brunette wants to remember "that night", it also terrifies her too much to really know the answers. As reassuring as it is to think about the lengths Alison would go to for her, it also terrifies her as she doesn't know just how far that is.

Spencer took one last look at her friend before laying down, feeling her eyes begin to water. She laid there with her hand over her mouth and cried as silently as she could, waiting for sleep to take her.

Maybe one day, she'd be brave enough for the truth. But for now, she decides to try to accept Alison's answer. Even if she doesn't believe it.


End file.
